Hard Truth.
Unless somebody has truly been plagued with a serious depressive disorder and properly diagnosed by a treating professional it is impossible for them to know, let alone understand what a person is actually going through.
Others can read about it, talk about it, form deeper insightful opinions about it based on their research, but they will never know exactly what it is like.
Key Takeaways.
Stop trying to pretend you’re ok when clearly, you’re not.
Speak to your doctor.
Avoid confiding in friends/acquaintances about any dark thoughts unless you 100% trust them.
Make sure you seek professional medical help.
If you are married or partnered, your other half will likely already have recognized that something is not right.
Try not to be aggressive with your partner, simply ask them if they think you should see a doctor? Allow for their honest response.
Allow your doctor to discuss diagnosis, treatments and action plans and the support your partner can access as well, while you navigate this journey together.
If you are the partner or spouse of somebody who has become unwell, learn what you can do about it and learn to avoid taking the sufferers ‘wild talk’ personally.
Seek out relaxation options for you both or for yourself alone if you are single or even as respite for yourself without your partner to help with management of what’s happening. Choose from:
-Massage
-Walks
-Baths
-Comedy
Anything you find personally helpful.
Building Blocks.
The time you will need to learn healthy acceptance will depend on you and what you can reasonably manage. Don’t be hard on yourself. It is a sure way to secure repeated setbacks.
What you are able to do or not do will be lessened naturally if you have become unwell.
Your capacity for contribution will be drastically reduced so recognizing this will help you to avoid viewing it as failure. Mental illness is not a failure on your part. Unless it has been brought on by substance abuse. In this case you will no doubt recognize that your lifestyle has contributed to this low outcome for you and the only way up and out is with some hard work and the assistance of others trained in rehabilitation services. It will take time.
But for those who have become unwell without any form of substance abuse involved then the reasons will be gathered to formulate a whole picture and to ascertain what methods of support will be best for you so keep in mind the importance of being as open and honest about any traumas or family history of mental illness that could be impacting on your life now.
Explanations.
When explaining to others, who themselves do not actually need an explanation for your unwellness, such as people who just enjoy being in the know but don’t show any personal interest in you otherwise, or people like teachers, employers, co-workers, etc., realize that you are not obliged to go into the finer details about your situation. A medical certificate and a simple explanation that you are undergoing medical treatment will suffice.
Why this is emphasized is because when somebody is struggling with their mental health, it is near impossible if at all, to rationally discuss matters from a distorted mind view. Like trying to continue jogging in a marathon with a broken leg, it doesn’t work. Not to mention that what you say from a distorted corner might end up being what you regret later on once you recover or reach a good place in your health management.
That in mind, simply tell any ‘must-know-something busy bodies’ that you are unwell and getting treatment. If a doctor’s certificate for exemption from studies or work is required for long-term absence, then this won’t be difficult to obtain if you have been provided a diagnosis for what type of depressive disorder you have and a health management plan formed for your treatment.
But know this. Real mental illness cannot be faked.
It usually lasts for many months and years, severely impacting somebody’s everyday life and activities with some category of illnesses there to stay and can only be better managed for the rest of a person’s life.
The certificate of exemption might simply be a letter from your treating physician. Again, if you want to keep things private, steer away from letters with official letterheads from physicians which clearly state what exactly you are suffering with and that you are seeing a psychiatrist. Such information is only required if you commit a crime during your episode of illness that your lawyer could use to help your situation. Unless that is the case, there is no harm in requesting another letter without the unnecessary information that otherwise is just waiting to be snapped up by workplace gossipers and troublemakers. Another form of stress that will only add to your journey of proper health management.
Think ahead.
On the other hand, because there are a lot of support networks for people who have become unwell, you may not mind others knowing at work or college what you are dealing with. Particularly if you have experienced a life altering trauma, like the loss of a child. At any rate, discuss where you’re coming from with a trusted health physician who can provide you with some guidance.
Moving Forward.
Once you have learned acceptance with the right support, you can move onto ‘‘Committed Action.”
Again, with the right support. This cannot be emphasized enough. If your support avenues feel off, then you have the right to respectfully change them.
The right support for you will eventually make up your own personal packet.
They might come in the form of:
Doctors.
Therapists.
Support Workers
Case Managers.
Support Groups.
Special Exercise Groups.
Partners/Spouses.
A Trusted Relative.
Keep in mind that Partners or Spouses will need their own support plan as well, separate from your own to help them be the best they can in your support and recovery while also caring for their own health and well-being which can be impacted when somebody they care for requires serious care. So try not to demand and expect more then your other half can possibly give. Recognize any kindness or time they spend doing things for you as a gift, even if what they say or do does not feel like enough to you during your illness.
Just remember that they are there doing those things because they love you. If they didn’t care, they wouldn’t be around.
Continue with part two (b)